I Shouldn’t Live Stream My Life

Have you ever tried to stop using social media, even just for the weekend (why would anyone do that?)? It’s hard. I mean, I don’t often realize just how often I mindlessly scroll through Facebook feeds without even reading them just letting my eyes wander over headlines or pictures or jokes or whatever.

Sitting on the couch, watching a Tigers’ game, I’ll suddenly have my phone in my hand and Facebook open. Sure, the Tigers aren’t playing great baseball at the moment, but there can still be some excitement {Saturday, they had a walk-off win}.

When idle, I find myself thinking, “Let’s see what so-and-so is doing [not that I have any friends names do-and-so]”. So, I open Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest/Snapchat/Twitter and see what everyone’s doing. The same thing they were doing 5 minutes ago. What do you mean no one’s updating their feeds every moment of every day, just live streaming their lives?

Okay, some people are.

I shouldn’t. It’d just be me in my pajamas lounging on my couch watching baseball and Netflix. Or eating unhealthy snacks. Or staring at the blank page of a Word document. Not exciting.

So, I tried to step away from the social media this past weekend. Oh man did I fail. Though I’m pretty sure I looked at it less, I definitely didn’t look at it 0 times. Ah well, at least I learned something…when I figure out what it was, I’ll let you know.

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Harley Q Day Is Coming

I had no idea Harley Quinn turns 25 this year. That’s pretty awesome. And, to celebrate, DC will have her takeover their annual Batman celebration day on September 23.

So, even if you didn’t know that Harley will turn 25 this year, that she debuted on Batman: The Animated Series or that her first appearance was in September in the episode “Joker’s Favor”, you’ll still have a whole day to celebrate one of Gotham’s most popular villains.

Before that, however, we get a one night premiere of a new Batman-Harley team-up. Tonight.

The best part? Batman is voiced by Kevin Conroy, the same actor who voiced him in Batman: The Animated Series. The same actor who many consider to be the voice of Batman. Loren Lester reunites his Robin with Mr. Conroy’s Batman. And, Harley will have a new voice, Melissa Rauch from The Big Bang Theory. Sure, it’s not Arleen Sorkin, but why not give the newcomer a chance?

So, it could be good. I think it’ll be fun. I mean, who doesn’t like a good Batman movie?

It’s not like we have any other superhero movie premiers to attend this month.

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I’m Not Chill (No One’s Surprised)

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to be chill, but you were super-hyped instead? No? Well then, welcome to my brain.

Thankfully, I don’t spend every moment analyzing, re-analyzing, and over-analyzing every thing I say and do. It’s only specific things or situations.

Social media is a great help hindrance. It’s easy to read someone’s status and think, “Is that about me?” Hard to know without asking. Yet, why confirm it with the person when I can just assume, right? It’s easier to find hurt when none was meant. Is it better to remain ignorant (it is bliss)? I mean, if I don’t ask, I can just pretend it was meant for someone else that way I don’t confirm my suspicions {most people will tell you if they posted something about you [um, the internet can be pretty passive aggressive (it can also be aggressive aggressive)]}.

Personally, I’ve found that the only way for me to stop thinking about something is to push it completely away. Make myself so uncool that people can’t stand me and leave. It’s pretty simple and rolls right into my ideology that people leave.

But, here’s the question: Do they leave or do I just push them away, forcing them out?

So, how do you remain chill when the situation calls for it, but you’re shaking like a chihuahua amped up on sugar and caffeine? No idea. {Take a breath. Focus yourself and compose your thoughts. Be in the moment.}

I miss the opportunities that come up often because I’m too concerned about how someone else might perceive me. Instead of saying what’s on my mind or doing the right/cool/confident/nice thing, I just allow the opportune moments to pass. Then I scramble to pick up the pieces and hope I didn’t mess things up too badly that I can’t put the puzzle back together. Even when all I have is a handful of pieces and no box to compare them to.

I’m not quite as talented at extracting my foot from my mouth as I am at placing it there in the first place.

Oh well. I guess today’s another day. Best to focus on being the man I want to be rather than the mistakes I made yesterday. We’ll see how that goes.

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Happy Belated Birthday, HP

I know what you’re thinking. I know I dropped the ball on Monday. I mean, how could I have forgotten such an important day? I didn’t even make passing mention of Harry Potter’s birthday (nerd card revoked).

Image result for harry potter birthday

You’re another year older, are we still friends?

The truth is, it’s awkward. I never remember how old he is. He was eleven during the events of The Sorcerer’s Stone, but when was he born? If we go by the original release date of the book, 1997, he was born in 1986. If we go by the original release date of the movie, 2001, he was born in 1990.

(True fans go to the source [so, Harry was born July 31, 1980, making him 37].)

Image result for I'm not old, I'm 37

I tell myself that every day

So, sorry, I missed the party and the cake…well, maybe not the cake if Hagrid made it. But if it was at Hogwarts, that would’ve been an awesome party [and one I, as a Muggle, wouldn’t be able to enter].

Not coincidentally, author J.K. Rowling also celebrates a birthday on July 31 [but, I’ll be a gentleman–unlike Google–and not reveal her birth year].

Hopefully, this post will restore some portion of my nerd-cred (probably not).

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Humor As Vice

Sometimes being funny is as easy as making apple cider from apples. Other times, it’s like squeezing lemons to make wine.

The hardest part of humor isn’t always the lines of the joke. It’s timing. Bad timing can ruin the best punchline.

Here’s a little advice: let your humor flow naturally, like your friendships or your syrup. Press too hard and your friendships brighten crack (unless tested by time and strengthened by circumstance). No one wants maple syrup from an oak.

I use humor to make sure that you feel comfortable, to laugh at our differences, to keep people from the awesomeness of the real me. Mostly, however, I hope that you’ll have a brighter day.

Sure, my jokes fall flat more often than not. Sure, writing jokes is harder than spontaneous, situational comedy. Sure, you might never think that I’m funny [I think you’re wrong, but everyone’s entitled to their opinion].

I can’t always make you laugh, but I can try to dry your crying eyes. I may not have the right words, but I have a smile.


Sorry this one wasn’t as funny today. I guess today was a lemonade day.

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