Holiday Prep 101

Ah, the holidays. Is there a better time of year? That crisp, cool air. A snowflake or two. Hot cocoa. And the burning desire that I’ve forgotten something.

Right, presents.

Christmas is right around the corner. If you couldn’t tell by all the lights and holiday music, the ads will remind you. There’s no better time to shop than now. Unless you hate lines.

See the source image

The glory days (from regnareproject.com)

But, if you really need that last minute gift and you don’t have time for two day shipping there are a few things you need to do to prepare:

  1. Bundle up, it’s cold out there. Also, layers act like armor when someone tries to elbow you out of the way.
  2. Make a list. Check it twice. Don’t drop it. It’s your lifeline to knowing who you’ve bought for and who you still need to buy for; plus, it keeps you focused. In and out.
  3. Practice dodging around people at home so you get comfortable enough to weave through lines like an NFL running back.
  4. Smile at people. Friendliness this time of year throws people off their game and freezes them, allowing you to swerve around them and grab that coveted item on your list.
  5. Say “Merry Christmas!” people love it. Or they hate it. I’m not sure. I haven’t met everyone. Those that love it will feel kindly toward you and allow you to sneak through and get that item you’re longing for. Those that hate it will staunchly stand in your way, but while they’re ranting, you can dash around them and be one step closer to home.
  6. Start earlier next year. Seriously, if you haven’t started by now, it’s probably a wash. Throw in the towel and start over next year.
See the source image

Only a few weeks left (from personalizedgiftssop.co.uk)

All I’m trying to say is, get out there, have fun, and remember what the season is all about.

…If you remember, let me know. I’m stuck in line waiting for that hot new toy to drop, with the holiday tunes drowned out by kids, parents, and grandparents crying.

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Baby Yoda, The Disney Princess You Didn’t Know You Needed

If you’ve dialed into the internet or logged onto any social media platform, you’ll know that baby Yoda is dominating the leaderboards. Everywhere you turn, you see those big ears, wide eyes, and tiny hands.

I’m just waiting for the season to reveal the baby Yoda is female, then we’ll get another Disney princess in the Star Wars universe.

The Mandalorian, so far, has been hit or miss. Some episodes are great. Others are slow. But, if the show does nothing else, if given us meme-worthy content and a glimpse into the development of Yoda’s species.

I mean, we still don’t know what planet they’re from, but we do know that the Force is their ally.

And while we anxiously await the tiny star’s first words, “Strong am I in the Force” perhaps? We’ll gobble up every meme, article, and gif like it’s Thanksgiving Day turkey.

See the source image

From The Tab

We certainly can’t get enough of the tiny, green superstar. Just like Mom’s pumpkin pie.

Posted in Humor, Nerdiness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Last Week in Star Wars

Last week was a good week for Star Wars. It saw the rise of a video game and the beginning of a series. It will be long remembered.

FYI, the series is The Mandalorian and it’s pretty great. Unless you were hoping it’d be about Boba Fett. But, thus far he hasn’t crawled out of the sarlacc pit [because he belongs there I mean, the dude was killed by a blind guy wildly swinging not even a proper fight like his dad]. The only real questions are will we ever learn his name [probably] or see him take his helmet off [I hope not]. We get to see bounty hunting in the gritty, wild manner we’ve always hoped to see it (but on the backs of blurrgs).

The first episode set the bar high. The second, well, didn’t quite reach it. But there’s still hope for a great series.

And the video game is Jedi: Fallen Order. Also pretty great. However, unlike The Mandalorian which takes place after Episode 6 but before Episode 7, Jedi: Fallen Order takes place between Episode 3 and Episode 4 [technically it starts before Rogue One]. We’re taking pretty close to right after the Jedi Purge here, folks. And things look dicey for the galaxy as the Empire is on the rise. Best of all, you’re character looks like and is voiced by Cameron Monaghan who some of you might recognize from Gotham.

See the source image

From Xbox

All in all, a great week to be a Star Wars nerd.

Posted in Humor, Nerdiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Fall of the House of Autumn

Around here, people are starting to get pretty salty that we skipped winter. No, not just because we’ll have to salt the streets soon…that’s just not pleasant on your car. There’s more to it than that.

When you skip autumn, you skip the leaves changing color, the chilly air on a sunny day, Thanksgiving, pumpkin spice everything, and the smell of fall [you know what I mean]. Foggy mornings. Misty evenings. That chill of magic in the air when the barrier between worlds thins. Wait, maybe that’s just on Halloween…did anyone else watch Halloweentown?

We’ve barely even started Pumpkin Spice season [some might say thank goodness].

Ah, autumn, the time of year when students hop on the Hogwarts Express. The golden leaves shimmer in Lothlórien.

Instead, we get the “joy” of shoveling snow while raking leaves. Frost and a morning freeze. Cold wind instead of a brisk breeze. And hats and gloves, thick winter coats, not sweaters and scarves.

And all the memes.

We live in the North, nestled up against the Wall with the Crows (Night’s Watch) waiting for the White Walkers a wildling raid. The Old Kingdom holds sway, Free Magic wanders, and only a brave few venture outside. Honestly, how does anyone survive going outside/beyond walls?

On the plus side, there’s always hot cocoa (and peppermint).

Who doesn’t love marshmallows and chocolate? I drink it even on the warmest days…if there’s no ice cream. Or milk and cocoa powder. Or chocolate syrup. Basically any other chocolate in the house.

And cozy firesides. Thick sweaters while indoors. Blankets. Heated blankets. Tea. Elevensies. Luncheon.

Do we really need to go outside? Honestly, I think bears have the right idea. Just sleep the cold months away.

Of course, I’d only be awake from late May to early September, but I mean what am I really missing? (Football season, hockey season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, your birthday, Halloween [details]).

I suppose that, personally, I feel that if the sun isn’t awake, I shouldn’t be either.

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Feeling Optimistic?

If today was awful, look on the bright side, tomorrow could only be terrible.

That’s the beauty of Mondays. They can take the abuse. They’re used to it. If Mondays didn’t have thick skin, they wouldn’t like Garfield.

From mzteachuh.org

Sure, work can be drudgery, life might be difficult, but there’s always something looming on the horizon.

That’s why Mondays are so optimistic. They know that the week’s just beginning. It’s brimming full of possibilities. Both good and bad. Even indifferent. It’s the reason Mondays are excited to see you… even when you’re not glad they came back into your life.

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment