Don’t Worry, Eat Happy

Lately, I find myself overthinking things. Instead of stuffing my face with hamburger, I wonder how many calories it has. Then wonder why I care. If it’s dinner, it’s dinner. Might as well enjoy it.┬áBut can you really enjoy empty calories? (At the risk of being obvious… YES!)

Life is full of empty calories. I’ve enjoyed quite a few handfuls of chips, bowls of ice cream, sticks of celery […wait, those just taste like empty calories…I mean water]. And who doesn’t want cake on their birthday? (Or a Monday?)

It’s easy to get bogged down at the table by stuffing your face, even with full calories {one nice thing about empty calories is that they don’t count toward your daily caloric intake (um…not sure that’s how they work)}.

Why worry? In the end round is still a shape. Even if it’s not the shape you were trying to get into, at least you achieved your goal. And that’s half the battle.

The other half is making goals, but I think we’ve done enough for one day. No need to strain ourselves. In fact, I think we’ve done such a swell job, it’s time for a cookie break. All this typing has to have burned at least 100 calories. It’s like half a calorie per word, right?

Man, I should write more often. I’d be as skinny as … someone who writes a lot of words every day.


Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Writing’s Nothing New

Someone somewhere once thought they had a new idea. They were wrong.

The hardest part about reading is realizing that you’ve read this story somewhere before but can’t figure out where (or watched it on TV). It’s not a new concept, but maybe it has something new to offer. Like a new take on an old character.

Thanks G.K. Now that there’s nothing left for the aspiring writer to do, they can all go get fancy jobs waiting tables… wait, that’s actors. Writers work … huh. Where do writers stereotypically work? (Barnes & Noble, the library) The main thing to remember when reading isn’t that this plot is somehow fresh, new, and exciting.

Most plots are the same.

Books, movies, manga, comics, etc. all are about one thing: eliciting a response. The main reason people like a book is because a character, part, or plot point made them feel something.

You don’t remember what Snape looked like (greasy hair), you just remember that you hated him and loved to hate him… until the end of Book 6.

That’s what makes them entertainment. If a book doesn’t help you have an epiphany, make you feel for a character or event, or show you a new perspective some people think it failed. Now, I don’t necessarily believe that. However, I do think that a lot of books out there are just well written derivatives of common plots and common characters without anything new to say.

And that’s okay.

We just need to stay away from them and instead read the good stuff. Life’s too short to waste on bad wine books.

So find a good book, soak in the tub (we’re still talking about reading, right?), relax, and enjoy a night in. It’s been too hot to go out these last few nights anyway. Might as well pamper yourself.

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Find Adventure (Before It Finds You)

Do you know that sore feeling you get after exercising? Yeah, me neither. But, I hear that it might be good for you or at least where the slogan, “No pain, no gain” come from. …Maybe my lack of exercise is why I don’t really understand that slogan.

Sure, “life sucks then you die” is a popular catchphrase and, maybe, I need to experience discomfort occasionally. But, is it possible to grow without pain (um, aren’t they called growing pains for a reason?)?

I think a lot of the time, I’d rather just let life pass me by. And that’s great, or would be if I lived at a truck stop or didn’t want an adventure. Like Bilbo Baggins (didn’t adventure find him anyway? {no, that was a wizard and a few dwarves}). I’d rather just sit inside, enjoy my cozy home and look at nature through the safety of glass windows.

But, adventure is restless. It continually searches for new victims. It longs for someone to seek something. Someone in need of rescuing. Someone willing to tilt against windmills.

You can either be that person who runs toward adventure and the next quest or you can be that person who drags their heels the whole way until you finally succumb to the quest’s calling. But are those really the only two options?

According to books: yes. But, I think that it’s perfectly normal for there to be a third option: doing nothing. Avoiding the quest at all costs. Stubbornly refusing the adventure. Not even opening your door when it knocks, answering the phone when it rings, reading texts, etc. Just put adventure on block.

We go through life in a haze of mundane. From one joyless pursuit to the next. Working, working, working to accumulate things we don’t have the time or inclination to use [when was the last time you used that treadmill that’s acting like a clothes rack in your basement?] instead of searching for a better path.

I don’t have to a lot of money to have fun or go on an adventure. I need only find the extraordinary in the everyday, the supernatural in the natural. It’s there is I look hard enough… I just need to take the time to look. Something I’m want to do.

It’s easier to sit on the couch and write about adventure than actually going on one. Besides, who wants to carry a sword, wear shiny armor, and fight a dragon anyway? *raises hand*

Who knows you might discover something new about yourself (like you have pollen allergies).

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Embrace Joy

So, I guess we’re here at another Monday. We’ve got another day in which we have choices to make. Some difficult: what am I going to have for breakfast? Others easy: where’d I park my car?

The problem is that we’re also faced with other people who have their own choices to make. And, sometimes, their choices don’t make sense to us. Or worse, they trample over our choices. Yet, it’s in those moments that we really have the ultimate choice.

I think that’s when we can choose to laugh. To smile. To bring joy to others.

Mondays are great to begin again. Everyone hates Mondays. The start of the week. Last weekend still fresh in your memory, next weekend so far away. Mondays, however, are filled with promise. A week of untold jokes waiting for you to exploit them.

Will you go through life dreading Mondays? Dragging your heels through a dreary week. Or will you embrace joy?

Image result for embrace joy

From Etsy

Sure, the easy thing would be to call in sick, pull the covers over your head, and wait until Tuesday to start the week. But who has that kind of time? Or patience? Really, if I skipped Monday, shouldn’t I also skip Tuesday just to not be a jerk? And them skip Wednesday so it doesn’t feel left out? And, of course, I’d have to skip Thursday or else the other days would think I’m playing favorites. By then, I’ve already missed most of the week so there’s really no point in even going in to work on Friday… I might as well enjoy an early start to the weekend.

What were we talking about again?

Right, the Monday thing. Okay, so now that you’re prepped and ready for the day, go out there and make it a good one. Maybe even smile [but, I won’t expect you to, it is after all a Monday].

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s Been a Hot One (Duh)

Sometimes you just need to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Other days, it’s so hot, you don’t want to move. You can’t fathom going outside for longer than necessary (like those -30 degree winter days when your mom would only let you run to the neighbor’s house to play inside; it’s like that {minus the running}).

The nice thing about the heat, though, is that it makes you appreciate the shade and the lake/pool/rain. Anytime you can relax and get cool, especially with friends, is a great time. A cold beverage helps, too.

Unless you don’t like people.

Then, you’re just stuck indoors enjoying a good book, watching a movie/TV, or napping on your days off. It’s not a bad thing, not really, just maybe a bit lonely. But, perhaps you like that. And, a good book that really draws you in and makes you care about the characters can help you feel like you’re part of that world. You’re not just reading about the adventure, you’re tagging along. ….Not every book does that. And that’s okay. Not every book has to. Maybe not every book needs to.

But, on a hot day, it’s nice to just relax and do nothing; just enjoy a little me time or a little friend time. Except that all your outdoor chores continue to pile up. Maybe that’s why autumn seems to have so many people outside doing chores (that …or the leaves on the ground have something to do with it).

At least my grass isn’t growing, so I don’t have to mow it.

Don’t get me wrong, summer has been good fun, but the blistering heat…yeah, I’m over that. A few days [or weeks] in the low 80’s would be nice.

Of course, then I’d have to go outside. Maybe see people. You know what, never mind. I like 90+ degree days.

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment