The Blame Game

If I’ve learned anything from the news, celebrities, and corporations, it’s that I should take responsibility for my own actions. …Wait, a second…

As I’m sure everyone’s heard by now, ABC cancelled Roseanne despite high ratings because of the star’s offensive tweet. Now, she did apologize, but then hedged by saying that her sleep medication made her do it (which, obviously is a side effect, it’s right on the label).

And we all know how well Solo is doing in theaters. Of course, Disney some people blamed The Last Jedi and fans wanting to boycott all things Star Wars because of it.

It wasn’t the news of switching directors, the lead needing acting lessons while filming, or a trailer that didn’t really show much of a plot (it was okay…{or are you looking for excuses to not see it because you didn’t like the redesign of the Millennium Falcon?}). Even if those were just rumors, that still hurt the audience appeal. I mean, even the summary on IMBD is pretty bland:

During an adventure into the criminal underworld, Han Solo meets his future copilot Chewbacca and encounters Lando Calrissian years before joining the Rebellion.

It’s like the whole thing is put together with duct tape and nostalgia. Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s a terrible movie. However, if I wanted people to see a movie, I’d maybe give them more of a hint to the plot. The thing is, we knew going in that Han would meet Chewie and Lando. That’s not a secret. Why does the plot have to be some giant mystery [like Obamacare, “If you want to know what’s in it, pass it into law”…not the best strategy (hey, it worked, didn’t it?)]?

The second summary does a bit better, but you have to dig into IMBD to find it:

With the emerging demand of hyperfuel and other resources, Han Solo finds himself in the middle of a heist alongside other criminals, where they meet the likes of Chewbacca and Lando Calrissian in an adventurous situation exposing the criminal underworld of the Star Wars saga.

So, maybe it’s just an okay movie. Maybe you liked it better than The Last Jedi. Maybe you’re just hoping it flops so they don’t make a Boba Fett movie (…unless it’s a prequel. He needs to stay dead, just like Darth Maul should’ve). It’s all about marketing.

Here’s the thing, as long as there’s someone or something else to take the blame, I’m off the hook. Simple. Easy to remember. I like it.

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Stay in School, Kids, Thanos Demands It

Welp, here we are. Another Monday. Another day closer to the end…of May. Which is okay; not that May’s a bad month, just most students teachers are excited for the last day of school and students parents are antsy for the grades. Students haven’t really paid attention since the first sunny spring day above 70.

Image result for infinity war memes

From Reddit

The hard part about waiting for the end of the school year is that as soon as it ends, we’re reminded that we have to go back. Back-to-School sales starts almost as soon as school ends. Sure, the big surge isn’t until the last minute in August, but stores set up displays before Memorial Day weekend to get ahead of the rush.

Students may not think it’s fair, they might even think it’s cruel, but parents are grateful for the reminder. Otherwise, they might forget that they need to buy a dozen boxes of crayons for $1.

Besides, if you don’t go back to school in the summer you won’t advance the calendar year and then you won’t see Avengers 4 and discover why Infinity War was a good movie after all [or completely irrelevant to the MCU (or is it Thor: Raganrok?)].

Image result for is infinity war irrelevant


…Maybe not the best reason to go to school, sure. But, if it gets butts in the seats, I don’t care. I just don’t want the calendar to stall because of 1 kid.

Seriously, don’t be that guy.

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Rain That Won’t Quit

Man, this rain just won’t quit. It’s like winter told spring, I’m leaving you and left spring heartbroken. Now, we’re left with the flooding. You could exploit this opportunity to go singing in the rain or splashing through puddles. Really, it just means that we…I’ll spend more time inside [not that I ever really go outside].

It’s a great excuse to watch movies. Maybe see Avengers: Infinity War again although Deadpool 2 opens this weekend. Not sure if the rain will remain that long. If it does, we might never use Hines Drive again.

The best part about the lack of sunlight is (that we’re already used to it from a long winter?) the lack of sunburn (also, it’s great to see vampires out during the day {makes slaying them easier on my sleep schedule}). Unless you don’t get that then you’re one of the lucky ones who tan. Some of us just get red. And flaky. And then turn blue or green, depending on which brand of aloe vera you use. It’s like becoming the Hulk without any of the strength or other added benefits (like ripped shirts?). The rage is still there though, just quieter and directed at the sun. Not yourself for forgetting to put on sunscreen.

Rain’s great for my lawn, too. Except I can’t cut it…well, I can; but I prefer to cut it when it’s dry. So my lawn looks like Jumanji. I’m not sure what creatures are lurking within the depths, I’m slightly afraid to find out what’ll happen when I go to cut my grass…if the sun ever shines again. If you don’t see me, just know I died valiantly, defending the jungle from corrupt magic, clear-cutters, poachers, and venomous snakes.

I hope someone rescues me before twenty years go by. I really, really, hope so. 20 years is a long time to wait for Avengers 4.


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The Joker: Misunderstood Heckler

Some days, you just really need a good joke. I think most of us feel that way after watching Infinity War…or waking up on a Monday (same thing?). Too bad most of us are so serious all the time.

The thing is, life’s hard. Right? Everyone knows that. Sure, we get frustrated by things, people, animals, the weather (isn’t that a thing?), even nothing. We’re so frustrated with being frustrated that we forget how to let loose and have fun.

That’s why Batman needs the Joker.

Without the Joker, Batman’s just a guy dressed like a Bat with no one laughing at him. Clearly, that’s a missed opportunity. I’m sure the Joker didn’t start off thinking that he wanted to be Batman’s nemesis. He just wanted to point out the irony of a guy dressed as a bat working the streets of Gotham at night.

Sure, the only way to get Bats to notice was to provide a little mayhem. But, the guys busy, who can blame him for not taking time to notice a heckler. Even if he was first rate. So Joker had to up the ante, step into the big leagues of crime and really get the attention his jokes deserved.

I mean, sure, eventually The Joker became the Clown Prince of Crime. After years of hard work and countless classic pranks, gags, jokes, jests, quips, one-liners, and mayhem galore he reached the pinnacle of Gotham’s elite criminals. The best of the best. The one who’d stand toe to toe with Batman and laugh.

The Joker just wants to see Batman crack a smile.

It’ll never happen, but that’s why the Joker is Batman’s greatest foil. They’re so opposite and alike that it’s eerie. Both driven to excel, both never backing down, and both feared by their enemies and loathed/loved by their sidekicks, companions, minions, and servants depending on the day (or the writer).

So, in a world full of Batmen…Batmans? Be The Joker*.


{…Or maybe, just laugh more? (even at/in-spite of yourself)}

*In no way is this blog actually intending for people to cause mayhem or criminal activity. If you do it, it’s on you.

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Crisis of the Infinity War: Not Revealing Spoilers

Over the weekend, Marvel’s movie topped the box office. But, we can’t talk about it in too much detail (thanks, Thanos). I mean, why spoil it for those who haven’t seen it, right?

Here’s the thing, though. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. You want to talk about it. Maybe that’s why everyone went this weekend and helped Infinity War smash box office records. Which is really too bad, since not very many people liked it [it’s only a 9.0 on and is 84% fresh on].

But, if you didn’t see it, did you miss anything? I mean, how will this all change the MCU? Will it? Will Infinity War become the Empire Strikes Back of the MCU? Will some people regard it as the best of the three dozen films [personally, I prefer Return of the Jedi to Empire Strikes Back, but that’s just me (off topic? {well, both Marvel and Star Wars are owned by Disney…})].

Can we have a mad titan who isn’t mad, just sad or unhappy? Will anyone ever call him Thanos again or will he forever be known as Grimace? And, of course, the most pressing question of all: Who didn’t stay through the whole credits? (You know, by now, that you’ll miss out on something if you don’t.)

Image result for thanos demands your silence

From Imgur

Honestly, it’s the hardest thing to not talk about once you’ve seen it, especially while browsing the internet [esp. on social media] or walking out of the theater after you just saw it, or while seeing trailers for it on TV or re-watching the rest of the MCU, etc. So you need to carefully vet your friends to discover who has seen it, who still wants to, and who doesn’t care about spoilers. But, seriously, don’t be that guy who ruins it for everyone. Thanos might just come for you next…he has a naughty/nice list, right?

Note: None of the articles or links were screened for spoilers, I just hoped everyone feared Thanos enough

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