New Year, Same Me

Here’s the thing, I’m really great at putting my foot in my mouth. Sometimes, it’s my whole leg up to the knee. Maybe it’s a problem. Maybe I’m just used to it and have learned to talk around it.

Basically, my humor ranges from eye rolling-ly bad to cringe-worthy. [As you’ve no doubt noticed.] So, it’s easy to imagine how conversations with me generally go.

It’s completely okay if you don’t laugh at my jokes or get angry. I’ll always apologize and ask for forgiveness… once I realize I’ve made a faux-pas. It might take a while, though.

It’s 100% your right to be angry. And to stay angry. You don’t have to forgive me. That’s your choice. Just know that I didn’t mean anything by it. Some things are just funny to me and no one else. And I still share them.

I mean, sure, I could make a New Year’s resolution to do that less, but realistically, no one keeps those for longer than a few weeks. And, honestly, it’d be better easier if I took a vow of silence.

It’s not that I don’t want to be better, it’s just that I’ll make strides and then demolish them with one quick joke. Usually, I end up pushing people away.

That’s life. Or, at least, life with me. I guess I just have a knack for saying exactly the wrong thing. Maybe one day I’ll be funny.

Advertisements
Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

An Infinity Theory

Okay, so I have a theory on how Marvel will resolve Avengers: Infinity War in Avengers: Endgame. I know, I know, everyone has a theory, but, please, bear with me.

**Warning, spoilers ahead for Marvel and 20th Century Fox Studios movies**

Here we go.

You’ve been warned.

In Deadpool 2, Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Yukio fix Cable’s time travel device. Of course, Deadpool then abuses it and, I’m guessing, never tells Cable.

Right, so now that Marvel is almost finished buying Fox, Deadpool is basically part of the MCU now. That means, so is his time travel device. And where would the best place be to ambush Thanos? Xandar.

That’s why it wasn’t part of Infinity War. It’s the battlefield for Endgame.

And, I hope, Cable gets the killing shot on Thanos. Then Deadpool can make a great joke or break the fourth wall, or just … yep. Well, you get the idea.

So, I’m pretty sure that we’ll all enjoy the Battle for Xandar in April.

 

[And maybe, we’ll see Nova, too. (He is a Guardian of the Galaxy. {Sometimes.})]

Posted in Humor, Nerdiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Avengers: Endgame = Thanos’ Retirement

By now I’m sure most of us have seen the trailer for Avengers: Endgame that dropped on Friday. In it, we see Thanos taking up a new career. Farming. I suppose once you’ve fulfilled your life’s purpose, you just find another. Like in the Sims.

The real question, though, is what’s Thanos farming? And why does he need to use his armor as a scarecrow? Is he trying to keep the Avengers away? Or just the Hulk?

Maybe it’s not a scarecrow, it’s an advertisement: “Here I am, what’re you going to do about it?”

So, even if you haven’t seen Avengers: Infinity War, you knew they would make a follow-up. And every’s worried that their favorite characters will stay dead or become dead or die again…I’m not sure on the plot, obviously, there’s only been one trailer, but, fortunately, we only have to wait until April to find out how everything works out and how Captain Marvel saves the day.

And we don’t have to wait too much longer for Captain Marvel, either.

But, it just doesn’t feel like Christmas without a Star Wars movie.

Posted in Humor, Nerdiness | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

An Open Letter to Mother Nature

Some days I feel like the weather is just a con artist playing a long game of bait-and-switch. Yesterday, it felt almost warm here. Sunny. Slightly breezy. A nice, autumn day. Perfect for a light jacket or a sweater. Hoodie weather. Today, we’re back to cold wind and low temps. A winter day.

Winter isn’t a bad season. It’s just hard to get used to the cold when it keeps leaving a day at a time every few weeks. I’d rather it stuck with cold all winter rather than the brief reprieves we’ve received.

…But, I might be in the minority.

The sad part about the temperature jumps [besides getting me excited for spring (that’s a long way off)] is that we lose the snow. All we see is mushy ground. I’d rather see snow.

Until it turns brown or black.

A nice layer of fresh powder makes the world look covered in sugar. That’s when I can see sugarplum fairies dancing around. Not just listen to them on the radio.

So, weather, please make up your mind. Either remain winter so I can brace for it or stay autumn and roll right into spring.

Sincerely,

Michigan

Image result for michigan weather meme

From Wattpad


But, honestly, it’s not Christmas without snow covering the ground.

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jurassic Excitement or Giant Turkeys?

So, as everyone knows, last Thursday was Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoyed yourselves. I had a great time stuffing my face, thanks for asking.

I did, however, jump on a few early holiday shopping deals and bought a new to me video game: Jurassic World Evolution. If you’ve played Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis, it’s pretty similar. Just a typical park builder with dinosaurs. So it’s basically awesome.

Unfortunately, I had to unleash a little chaos into the park.

Image result for introduce a little anarchy joker

From me.me

The game does plenty of this on its own, there’s even achievements to unlock by taking pictures of dinosaurs rampaging through your park and terrorizing your guests. Hilarious. …I mean, “Oh! That’s not right.”

Sometimes, though, you just want to see a specific scenario played out. So you let your T-Rex battle an Indominus Rex just to see who’d win. Or allow your Baryonyx to chase a few people until they reach the emergency shelter (because no self-respecting dinosaur park would ever leave shelters on the to-do list).

Storms wreak havoc, dinosaurs rampage, yet guests still come in droves. Yep, it’s as realistic as you’d expect. Who wouldn’t visit a real life Jurassic Park? I know I would {just make sure you have you affairs in order before leaving}.

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment