Life Advice 101

Life is funny. I always expect the worst, even run worst case scenarios in my head. Yet, often, the worst doesn’t happen. Just the worse or the bad. Occasionally, the okay or the above average. Rarely the good, the better, or the best.

Why is that?

I mean, maybe if I spend as much time visualizing the positive as I do focusing on the negative I might…nah, that’ll never work. Might as well try to drive in Michigan when it’s not construction season or winter.

People always say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but that just makes tart water…unless you add sugar.

We get so caught up in getting what we don’t have we forget to experience the things we do have, like lack of time to sleep, no money to buy the newest iPhone, or a pretty nifty Netflix password (that someone can easily steal just by typing password backwards).

Sure, life’s pretty nice when you stop and smell the roses, but who wants to grab a rose by the thorns? That sounds painful. Instead, just smell the dandelions, they’re much easier to find (and don’t make you bleed).

And of course, always remember to wear clean underwear. Because my mom would be totally embarrassed if I died in dirty underpants. You’re welcome.



About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Satire and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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