How to Drive Like Magneto

Sometimes I think it’s good that I’m not Magneto. Don’t get me wrong, manipulating magnetic fields would be awesome; I’d just abuse it. For example, every time someone drives into a parking lot and exits to skip a red light, I think “Man, with a flick of his wrist, Magneto could flip that car” or “By closing his fist, Magneto could crush that engine block”.

Sure, it might be vindictive (and petty), but it’d feel good in the moment. Right? And isn’t that the point of mutant powers? To do what’s best for you?

Image result for magneto

He’s all about the good vibrations

So, that’s why, it’s probably best for everyone that I don’t have any sort of extraordinary abilities. The toll on the roads would be catastrophic. On the plus side, I’d never have to worry about rush hour, I’d just shove cars aside in my race for freedom. The side of the road would look like a post-apocalyptic future: cars littered everywhere.

Image result for bruce almighty car

What’s the point of superpowers if they don’t benefit you?

Whenever I wanted, I could do whatever I wanted [as long as bending metal was involved] and no one could stop me…unless the X-Men crawled out of the woodwork comic book pages then I’d be in for a world of hurt. And I’d find myself locked in a plastic prison with an old, bald guy as my only visitor.

So, I suppose there are worse things than waiting in traffic or at a red light. Not many, but getting beaten up by the X-Men definitely tops that list.


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Nerdiness and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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