The Movie Season is Upon Us (in Earnest)

I can’t believe movie season is almost here. I know what you’re thinking, “It’s still too cold”, “School’s not out yet”, and “Wait, what happened to summer?”. There are plenty of movies to look forward, but I doubt I’ll see them all. Who knows? Maybe I’ll make it out to one or two dozen showings before the end of the year.

We’ve already had LoganBeauty and the Beast, Lego Batman, Ghost in the Shell, and The Fate of the Furious. Is there anything else even worth seeing? Well, unless you’ve been living under a rock [like me], there just might be something to tickle your fancy.

  1. Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2
    • Image result for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

      Release date: May 5

    • Who isn’t excited for the continuing adventures of Peter Quill (Starlord, man, come on), Gamora, Drax, Rocket, and baby Groot? The first one was awesome and hilarious. The trailers make the second seem to be more of the same.
  2. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
    • Image result for king arthur legend of the sword

      Release date: May 12

  3. Baywatch
    • Image result for baywatch

      Release date: May 25

    • Actually looks pretty funny…from the trailers (those may be the only jokes in the movie {that’d be sad}).
  4. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
    • Image result for pirates of the caribbean dead men tell no tales

      Release date: May 26

    • Will we finally see how the ships got into the bottles? Or how to get them out? Who are the weird, pale pirates? Why aren’t more people excited?
  5. Wonder Woman
    • Image result for wonder woman poster

      Release date: June 2

    • A lot is riding on Diana’s shoulders. Will this be DC’s version of Captain America: First Avenger (No. This is WWI, Cap is WWII)? Will this turn around DC’s cinematic skid? Why does Diana shave her armpits?
  6. Captain Underpants
    • Image result for captain underpants movie

      Release date: June 2

    • How will it fair against Wonder Woman? Which will parents choose to see (drop off the kids at one and go see the other)?
  7. The Mummy
    • Image result for the mummy 2017 poster

      Release date: June 9

    • Tom Cruise plays a relic hunter. Sofia Boutella (Jaylah from Star Trek Beyond) is the reincarnated title character. Maybe the mummy will finally win?
  8. Cars 3
    • Image result for cars 3

      Release date: June 16

  9. Despicable Me 3
    • Image result for despicable me 3

      Release date: June 30

  10. Transformers: The Last Knight
    • Image result for transformers the last knight

      Release date: July 3

    • I know, I know, another Transformers movie. My burning question is: Will the Dinobots return (the only one asking it)?
  11. Spider-Man: Homecoming
    • Image result for spider-man homecoming

      Release date: July 5

    • We’ll finally see Spider-Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe…oh wait. He’ll finally have his own stand-alone movie…oh wait. Well, at least his first appearance [in Civil War] was good and gives hope of what Homecoming could be.
  12. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Image result for valerian and the city of a thousand planets

Release date: July 21


  1. Blade Runner 2049
    • Image result for blade runner 2049

      Release date: October 6

    • The question everyone’s dying to know: Will Harrison Ford make a cameo?
  2. Thor: Ragnarok
    • Image result for thor ragnarok

      Release date: November 3

      Release date: November 3

    • Unfortunately, Thor gets a haircut (and has to fight in a gladiatorial arena run by Dr. Ian Malcom). Fortunately, he meets his best buddy The Hulk. Obviously, mayhem and hijinks ensue. Looks to be epically hilarious (…unless the retro-Stark Trek Wrath of Khan color scheme on the title sequence is any indication of what’s to come {Hulk saves the day, but dies; admits he’s always been Thor’s bff?}).
  3. The Dark Tower
    • Image result for the dark tower movie

      Release date: November 4

    • Stephen King’s epic fantasy series finally comes to the big screen.
  4. Murder on the Orient Express
    • Image result for murder on the orient express 2017

      Release date: November 10

  5. Justice League
    • Image result for justice league

      Release date: November 17

    • Is it fair to ask if anyone’s going? Maybe it’ll depend on how good Wonder Woman is.
  6. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
    • Image result for star wars episode viii

      Release date: December 15

    • Christmas can’t come soon enough. The first official trailer was enough to get questions rolling and excitement building. Will we finally see the end of the Jedi Order? Will Luke shave his beard? Can the Resistance survive on Hoth?
  7. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
    • Image result for jumanji

      Release date: December 20

    • Sure, you might be worried that it’s another remake (or another Dwayne Johnson movie this year), but it might be good. I say give it a chance. I know Whovians will […as long as they liked Amy Pond].
  8. Pitch Perfect 3
    • Image result for pitch perfect 3

      Release date: December 22

Summer looks pretty jam-packed (there’s still time to take vacations in August). Without much pause for the kids to really settle into the school year, however, we leap right back into the action. Strap in kids, it’s going to be wild (also, don’t forget to do your homework. Failing grades won’t let you see Star Wars).


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Nerdiness and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Movie Season is Upon Us (in Earnest)

  1. Virginia says:

    We are looking forward to Guardians of the Galaxy!!! But thanks for the heads up about Despicable Me 3 – we really liked the first two & the Minions movie (and, uh, we’re adults!!) Plus that Valeriian movie looks fun, too, Happy Days @ The Movies!!! 🙂

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