America: Still Status Quo?

Donald Trump is a uniter. There’s no denying that fact. He’s uniting a country against him. To be fair, going in, we knew who ever won would be the least liked president ever. Who knows what kind of president he’ll be. Perhaps he’ll just be the GOPs lackey. Perhaps he’ll realize he doesn’t want the job: “It’s a yuge responsibility; I’d rather be swimming in my gold coins” [having never been in Trump Tower, I assume it has the same interior decorator as Scrooge McDuck’s vault]. Perhaps he’ll make America great again.

But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There are still plenty of false facts flying around. Alternate points of view are valid…at least according to relativism (and the White House Press Secretary and other news outlets). In reality, however, no one likes them. Apparently.

I’m not sure what the fuss is all about really. Compared to our other Presidents, Mr. Trump is par for the course.

  1. Ruling by executive order is still in vogue, so no change there from the last president.
  2. He’s portrayed as a womanizer; sure, we haven’t had one for two consecutive presidents, but it’s not like we’ve never had one historically.
  3. His Secretary of Defense, General James Mattis, already bombed ISIS, guess we’re still fighting them…
  4. I’m sure Congress will vote to give themselves another raise soon.
  5. Donald Trump is only taking a $1 as his salary, which is probably more than George Washington earned (after buying all his own perks), but less than most presidents [based solely on imaginary numbers and no factual evidence].
  6. Trump will probably still play golf. …Eventually.
Image result for trump memes

*Warning: image may not represent reality* Now that’s a future everyone can get behind (because no one wants to be in front of a raptor) 

Not that that makes any of it okay [or not okay]; just framing it around history. Some things, obviously, are not copacetic.

  1. We’re still fighting for equality and religious freedom. I mean, I don’t want to make people morally opposed to abortions have to pay for them, but how do we separate their tax dollars from everyone else’s? Is there a box to check in TurboTax?
  2. Apparently, national park land is worthless. You know, except to the animals living on it. But, no one cares about granola-eating conservationists who don’t shower (um, they don’t shower because they’re camping. duh).
  3. If construction on the Dakota Pipeline is going to restart, can we at least go around the folk who don’t want it in their backyard? This isn’t a freeway, after all. Isn’t there some worthless land nearby somewhere? [At least it’ll user American steel.]
  4. Cyber-bullying still exists {it might be ramping up}.

In a country where we’re so divided on everything that no one can be friends with anyone who disagrees with them about anything, it’s no surprise that no one’s happy. After all, money may get you into the White House, but once you’re there, there’s a lot of crap to clean up. And no one wants to do it [see what I did there? I took the high ground and didn’t insert a joke about deporting illegals (it doesn’t count if you parade it about {have some humility, man; you don’t need to joke-splain the subtext})].

At least we can all agree on one thing: Donald Trump is president and a lot of people are upset by it. That fact needs no checking.


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Satire and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to America: Still Status Quo?

  1. Almost Iowa says:

    If construction on the Dakota Pipeline is going to restart, can we at least go around the folk who don’t want it in their backyard? This isn’t a freeway, after all. Isn’t there some worthless land nearby somewhere? [At least it’ll user American steel.]

    To be clear on one point, the pipeline is built entirely on private and state land where all the necessary permissions have been issued and payments made.

    At least in my humble opinion this is about one thing and one thing only. Warren Buffet gave $6.5 million to the Tides Foundation (a greenwashing entity) to shut down the pipeline so that the oil moves by rail instead of pipe. He wants this because he invested in the BNSF for the profits it made on moving coal and now that coal is winding down, he needs to fill the financial gap.

    The arguments made against DAPL are utterly ridiculous, let’s address them

    -Climate change. How exactly does moving 500,000 barrels of oil by rail instead of pipe affect climate change?

    -Water quality at Standing Rock. This summer the Standing Rock reservation will move its inlet pipes seventy miles away from the pipeline. This has been in the works for years.

    -Water quality in the Missouri. The pipeline travels 100 feet below the river, the same depth that the tunnel between England and France travels beneath the channel (above which half the world’s shipping traffic passes). It is also encased in a double walled pipe with shut off valves on each side of the river.

    – Native American burial sites… no one has found one and no one raised the question when the Standing Rock reservation was building their casino. It was only raised when Warren Buffet’s money started flowing.

    – The cost to American farmer. Mr. Buffets insistence on tying up the Midwest’s rail system to move oil is costing farmers well over $100 million a year.

    Lastly, the environmental movement is disgracing itself by selling out to anyone with a buck and going ballistic over symbolic issues. While issues like this speak to its base and donors, it is getting so that the vast majority of Americans are utterly disgusted with the movement’s attitude and behavior.

    Let’s get back to what counts, folk.

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