How To Fill-in An Online Dating Profile

These days, everyone is looking for love online. No one goes outside to meet someone when you can just window shop from the safety and comfort of your favorite couch or chair. So, it pays to know a few tricks to reel in potential interest*.

  1. The profile picture. Obviously, it should show your face. Everyone stresses about this. Is my hair perfect? Should I smile? Are my abs too glistening? Don’t get carried away. Keep it simple.
  2. Other pictures. Just as important. Make sure you have some with your friends or pets. Unless your pets are skeletons like mine (couldn’t afford taxidermy?). Group shots are great. Photos with your best friends. Guys, anything with another girl in it is great to spark jealousy…just steer clear from wedding photos; unless it’s clear you’re not the groom. Basically, this is all a woman really needs in her profile [sorry, ladies].
  3. When filling out the description, you need to determine what type of person you are. For example, are you a fixer-upper? This is great because women love watching DIY shows and if you’re a project, they will flock to you. Also, you could just be the type of guy their friends usually try to fix them up with. However, don’t pretend you need work if you’ve got everything all together and don’t want to change. Be honest. There’s no such thing as too honest on the internet.
  4. Personal Details. Guys, if you’re smart, funny, witting and charming, have your smart, funny, witty, and charming sister fill-in the description for you.
  5. The particulars. Most sites will ask how tall you are and what body shape. Most people lie. I’m not sure on the exact numbers, but adding 5 inches seems legit. And, of course, unless you’re fluffy, just mark athletic. It doesn’t specify which sport (couch surfing’s a sport?).
  6. What you’re looking for: This section is tricky because you’re tempted to write “Only Tens Need Inquire”, but a 10 for me may not be a 10 for you…to be safe, avoid the number scale [personally, I avoid all scales]. Let’s be honest, {an 11 is an 11 for everyone} you might even settle for a 7. Before you can put yourself out there, you need to know what you want. Otherwise, you might use the wrong bait. Or throw away a really great catch. Look, dating is a lot like fishing: there are plenty of fish in the sea, but not all of them are biting all the time; if you don’t use a fish finder, how’re you going to know if there are any fish in your favorite spot (hint: the couch is everyone’s favorite spot)?

Good luck. And remember, be yourself. Unless you can be someone else. Then be anyone else. Especially Batman.

*I don’t claim that any of these tips will work or even garner any interest. Use them and let me know how it works out for you.


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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