It’s getting darker sooner. There’s a chill in the morning air. Halloween merchandise creeps onto shelves at a snail’s pace. Pumpkins filter into stores. Not just pumpkin spice everything, but actual pumpkins (Will a carved pumpkin last from now until Halloween?). Autumn colors get closer every day. Of course, some trees are already losing their leaves. Selfish. At least show us your colors before turning brown and falling (…or wait for everyone else?).
If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early leaf get? Obviously, if you’re a worm you either want to work the night shift or sleep in. It’s less obvious why a tree wants to be bare. Unless it’s going for the natural look (#BareIsBeautiful?). Does the first tree to lose its leaves win a prize? Like the Olympics of trees? (Bad comparison. The Olympics are every four years, autumn is every year.)
Maybe leaves fall because they just can’t put up with their neighbor anymore. “That’s the last time I lend Barry my reciprocating saw. I’m moving.” Then he jumps. “I borrowed sugar from Teresa one time. The way she acts, you’d think I stole her firstborn.” Then she packs her bags and leaves. Perhaps they go to a better place (Tahiti?). Or, probably, they’re just tired. I mean, can you imagine the grip strength needed to cling to a tree branch all summer? Leaves are basically Ninja Warriors.
Soon, we’ll be outside raking those warriors. Ugh. That means I have to go outside. I hate leaving my cave. It’s so bright and windy. The air smells so crisp and clean. It’s terrible.
I’ll actually have to wear pants.