Baby Jokes

Not just little, tiny, cute jokes.  Humor for babies.  About babies.  Why hasn’t anyone focused on that niche?  Babies love to laugh.  Their laughs are infectious.  Therefore, baby humor should be a gold mine.

Plus, everyone will always have a baby, know someone who has a baby, or surround themselves with babies.  It’s human nature.  We just naturally, instinctively know how to care for them.  It’s in our DNA.  For instance, my DNA tells me to keep my distance and be afraid of dropping them.  It’s science.

Every joke has its audience and its place.  Some are never appropriate, others are old, standards.  Everyone knows them, no one loves them, but they’re expected.

Let’s look at a few common scenarios you might find yourself in.  Practice these so they feel natural upon delivery (like La Ma’s classes?).

What happens when you meet a baby for the first time?  Its scrunched face an angelic vision of sleep and you call it sir, but its parents immediately correct you that she’s a lady.  Ah, faux-paus.

Easy fix: Call everyone sir.

Not as easy fix: Say, “You passed the test.  I just wanted to see if you still knew, even after all the sleep deprivation.”

Of course, someone will ask if they bought their baby at either Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby.  It’s a standard and even Toys R Us employees have heard it.

Why not opt for a different route?  Ask whether it’s a lease.  See if they’re thinking about trading it in.  Or, if the pound offers refunds (that one might overstep a line).

Also, poop jokes are classics.  Who doesn’t laugh at good situational comedy?  For instance, the baby spits up on someone: never not funny…unless you’re holding it at the time, I suppose; but my DNA’s got me covered there.

Just remember, babies are cute, funny, and best of all can’t sass you back.  Make a face after you tell them a joke and they’re sure to laugh (or cry).  Win-win.


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
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