12 Days of Christmas Decorating

On the first day of Christmas, my basement gave to me a messy Christmas tree

On the second day of Christmas, my basement gave to me two tangled light strands and a messy Christmas tree

On the third day of Christmas, my basement gave to me three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the fourth day of Christmas, my basement gave to me four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the fifth day of Christmas, my basement gave to me five shots of liquor, four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the sixth day of Christmas, my basement gave to me six burned out light bulbs, five shots of liquor, four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the seventh day of Christmas, my basement gave to me seven ladder splinters, six burned out light bulbs, five shots of liquor, four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the eighth day of Christmas, my basement gave to me eight sloshing wine glasses,  seven ladder splinters, six burned out light bulbs, five shots of liquor, four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the ninth day of Christmas, my basement gave to me nine hours napping, eight sloshing wine glasses,  seven ladder splinters, six burned out light bulbs, five shots of liquor, four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the tenth day of Christmas, my basement gave to me ten manger statues, nine hours napping, eight sloshing wine glasses,  seven ladder splinters, six burned out light bulbs, five shots of liquor, four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my basement gave to me eleven scratched CDs, ten manger statues, nine hours napping, eight sloshing wine glasses,  seven ladder splinters, six burned out light bulbs, five shots of liquor, four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my basement gave to me twelve empty boxes, eleven scratched CDs, ten manger statues, nine hours napping, eight sloshing wine glasses,  seven ladder splinters, six burned out light bulbs, five shots of liquor, four missing hooks, three broken ornaments, two tangled light strands, and a messy Christmas tree

tl;dr Christmas decorating is way too tiring and intense.  Nap safely and always decorate with alcohol…or something like that [I didn’t read it either].

At the end of twelve days, the tree is still a mess, the lights are still tangled, empty glasses litter the house, and the glitter will wash out of my beard around New Year’s Eve (just in time to get more in it…hooray.).

Instead of the hassle, just binge watch Netflix or movie marathons.

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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