Dating: Then vs. Now

I think we can all agree, there’s a lot of social pressure, anxiety, and fun involved in dating.  It, also, used to be a lot easier.

Then:

Back in the day, all you had to do was club the woman you liked and drag her home to your cave where you chained her to “the kitchen” and she happily made sandwiches from whatever you hunted.  And, occasionally, your next-cave neighbor, Pepper, would bring over whatever he had gathered.
Cost: Time finding the proper large club

Now:

There are two options:

  1. Go to the bar, drink until you have the courage to talk to a woman, buy her drinks until she laughs at your jokes (usually between 5-10; don’t exceed 20).  Take her to a motel (you don’t know how crazy she is yet, you weren’t even listening to the things you said).  Wake up the next day in a pool of shame, remorse, and bodily fluids.
    Cost: Bar tab, Hotel room, cab fair.   …Self-esteem
  2. Stay at home and window shop online.  Message someone you think is cute.  Wait.  Continue window shopping.  Wonder how many cats this woman really has.  Read how she’d totally vote for Hillary (or Trump).  Swipe left.  Check messages.  Wonder how long to wait to respond.  Go to a restaurant, try to discuss something meaningful, argue about whether it’s still okay for a man to hold doors, pay, and like sports know how to tie a tie.  Go home alone.
    Cost: Restaurant bill, online dating site subscription, an alcohol soaked shirt
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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Dating: Then vs. Now

  1. The glories of living in the present and the shame of having a view of the past. If only women somehow took the reigns and told us when to do something to win their affection.
    This was a really fun read and I look forward to reading more soon.

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