I Didn’t Get an Acceptance Letter from Hogwarts. Thanks a lot, Mom!

Everyday, you read about (or could, if you did that sort of thing) another mom who got their kid special privileges or went off on a rant about something.  Why doesn’t my mom embarrass me like that [don’t worry, there are still plenty of other ways she embarrasses me…um, no offense, Mom…(parents aren’t doing their job correctly unless they embarrass their kids; traumatic, life-scarring events)].

There are the moms whose kids are in the band, but still want their child to be able to wear a varsity jacket.  The moms who want their kids to go to Christian/Jewish/Muslim camp–but aren’t Christian–and don’t want their kids to learn about Jesus or read the Bible/wear yarmulkes or read the Torah/read the Quran/etc.  The moms who don’t want their kids to say the Pledge of Allegiance because they aren’t American.

Look, all I’m asking is, “Mom, did you even write to the Headmaster of Hogwarts?”  That’s really all I want to know.  Sure, I might be a Muggle; but you always said, “I was special” and, “I could do anything I wanted”.  Well, Mom, I want to attend Hogwarts [even if I am too old].  (Go to Universal Studios in Orlando?)

I guess I just wasn’t fortunate enough to have a mom who cared so little for living vicariously through me and fighting my battles for me that she let me struggle through life as a Muggle without the chance opportunity to attend such a prestigious school.  Maybe that’s why I majored in Creative Writing (yep, I really showed her, with my 40 hour a week dead-end job at a toy store […er…living on unemployment due to corporate downsizing]).

And, really, doesn’t anyone else think it’s a little discriminatory that only wizards and witches are allowed to attend?  (From the United Kingdom. {Helping or hurting?})  From the UK!  Also, just how British could they have been?  Not once in the books did they ever stop for tea [except that one time on Valentine’s Day (what a bloody disaster that date was [wait, date as in “couple out on the town” or February 14? (Yes.)])]

At least now, I’m able to fight my own battles and miraculously don’t feel entitled to attend Hogwarts [even if I still long to].  Life won’t give you anything, so take it (by the tip of a sword wand?).  Keep believing in yourself and work hard.  Those are the lessons I learned from Mom.  Oh, and that love doesn’t mind messes, gives hugs even when you don’t want them, and will always feed you.  If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.

Happy [belated] Mother’s Day!


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Nerdiness and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I Didn’t Get an Acceptance Letter from Hogwarts. Thanks a lot, Mom!

  1. Leeta Dore says:

    In your mom’s defense, the first book wasn’t even published until 1997 (and not in the U.S. til 1998) so she wouldn’t have known it existed until you were old enough to be in year two or farther. There is not a student I can think of that didn’t start at year one, so they likely don’t take transfers. And even if they did, you’d still need to start at first year level since you obviously didn’t get any wizard training in your muggle school. Perhaps your mom was just trying to save you the embarrassment of not only looking like a squib, but also being older than everyone else.

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