Obligatory New Year’s Post (and Resolutions)

Happy New Year!  It’s 2015 and like many of my fellow revelers, I’m just waking up.  Unlike many of my fellow revelers, however, I am not making a laundry list of resolutions I may forget by Valentine’s Day.

Instead, I’m only going to have one: Become Captain America.

The only problem?  (just one?)  I don’t know anyone named Emil.  …And I’d have to change my name to Steve Rogers.  Oh! and I’m not in the armed forces.  Or know of a way to sign-up for the super soldier serum…or if anyone is working on one (why wouldn’t someone?).  Other than that though, I think it’s an achievable goal.

I mean, what are the downsides?  I might get a red skull-like face?  I’m single, so I guess that wouldn’t affect my significant other…?  Or, I could turn into a rage fueled monster.  Slightly worse than a hindered social life (only slightly).

But think of the upsides.  I’d feel (and be) taller.  I’d be in pretty great shape.  I’d be able to win Olympic events…but would probably be banned from all competitive competitions.

Wait. would I need to workout to maintain my super physique?  Downside.
[If I have to work for it, I might as well be Batman…except, I’m not a billionaire, my parents aren’t dead [thank goodness], and I have no idea how to begin crafting awesome gadgets].  …Maybe Green Arrow or Hawkeye would be better [but, my bow is blue (Blue Arrow?)].  Anyone know a good arrowsmith who’s interested in creating crime-fighting arrowheads?

[Welp, I typed my post for the new year.  Time to go back to bed.]


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Nerdiness and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Obligatory New Year’s Post (and Resolutions)

  1. Pingback: Super Bowl Super Quick | Hilarity is

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