Should’ve Gone with Gift Bags

This time of the year showcases something very pointedly.  I suck at gift wrapping [thankfully, the toy store doesn’t offer it].  I suppose you could include gift-giving, too.  However, I have all the gift wrapping skills of a goldfish.

The first package, I forget how to actually wrap and either have too much paper or not enough.  The second is probably the best since I’ve learned from my mistakes.  The third’s not too bad either…unless a day has passed between wrapping sessions (maybe try listening to Eminem?).

If any time has passed between wrapping sessions, it’s back to square one.  Even simple, square boxes are an ordeal.

Seriously, it looks like a goldfish wrapped them.

Kids want gifts from Santa to look immaculate, especially considering he hands out toys for a living…er…job…hobby, um, profession.  Thankfully, I don’t have to fill the big guy’s shoes (or his pants…sorry, Santa, don’t put me on the naughty list), otherwise, kids all over the world would think Santa had flippers for hands.  They’d have nightmares of a mutant herding reindeer across the sky and wonder if he needed to breathe air or water.

Crisis averted.  I’m not Santa.  Next year, however, I’ll get my dad to wrap my gifts for me.  …Or just buy oddly shaped gifts.  [Perhaps gift bags are easier.]

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Should’ve Gone with Gift Bags

  1. Leeta Dore says:

    Just rent an elf for a day or something. It’s not Santa who makes or even wraps the presents, he just hands them out. And gets all the glory. The kids really should be thanking the elves for their presents.

    • bkreuch says:

      Maybe that’s what I should do. Where can I rent one?

      Some people can wrap gifts with three pieces of tape (or less); I can wrap them with a roll of tape and a prayer.

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