Victors Write History

It’s a lesson every college student learns while writing their senior thesis: use sources that support your argument.  And a lesson every bad thesis defense proves: the other sources will be mentioned.  Brush up on all your sources.

Mostly, my Facebook news feed is filled with cat videos, George Takei, and My Little Pony [hey, it’s the friends you need, not the friends you want…right?]; but sometimes, I get other things, too.  For instance, the other day, I got an article concerning Jesus’ marriage to Mary Magdalene.

All well and good.  You’re entitled to your opinion.  The article even had sources.  Look, I never met Jesus in person [no visions and no immorality for me…so far (what about a past life? [How bad do you have to be to go from a butterfly to a human? {think about it: butterflies live a posh life; sure, there’s that awkward middle stage–who doesn’t have that?–after, however, it’s all “Look at me, I’m gorgeous and can drink nectar all day”, just flitting around from flower to flower; and what eats butterflies? not much, if they’re the poisonous kind.  Even if you get eaten, you have like what a 7 day life span? You’re not missing much.  Just look both ways before exiting your cocoon (it’s not like a crosswalk, you don’t have right of way [unless it’s a crosswalk outside a toy store])}]).

My only concern is that is brought in Paul’s background concerning his letters and teachings about Jesus’ celibacy.  Sure, Paul was from Tarsus.  Sure, maybe they did worship a god named Attis there.  I’m no scholar.  So, it is possible that his teachings [though he was raised Jewish] were colored by such environmental factors.

But what about the writers of the Gnostic gospels?  If they were Greeks, wouldn’t they have been colored by their society, too?  And gods marry mortals isn’t so strange to them.  …Gods remaining faithful to mortals, however…

Okay, the point is, there are sources for everything.  I’ll let you believe what you want; but don’t claim it’s fact until you have incontrovertible proof (like a marriage license or something?)…or it’s about something mundane that no one cares about.

I guess I just don’t like the whole shock the public for attention bit. It’s stale (like this blog).  So, I guess I gave that guy his 15 seconds [you’re welcome, sir]…on a blog no one reads.  Eh, what’re you going to do?


As we all know, to the victor goes the spoils and history is written by the victorious.  Today, however, we just use sources (mostly Wikipedia) to prove the point we want to make regardless of any other sources [that’s how I passed college just above the Mendoza line {baseball reference, Google it}].


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Satire and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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