Gollum Is Frodo’s Grandmother (Could Be)

I think Gollum is as lot less scary when you read his lines like an old grandmother (…?).  Okay, so maybe not every line.  But when he says, “Taters?  What’s taters, precious?”, that’s definitely something a borderline senile granny might utter.

Of course, then there’s lines like, “We likes it raw and wriggling”, which do nothing to help my point; except entice someone to make Gollum the next star of their horror movie/haunted house.

So, maybe when’s he’s nice and talking to Frodo, Gollum’s like your grandmother (not mine [fine, an old lady]).  He’s nice and sweet and innocent.  Maybe even a bit too naive at points.  But that’s what makes him trustworthy.  All that’s missing is a scene where Gollum tries to find a date for Frodo [insert Sam and Frodo innuendo].

Everyone knows not to get on Grandma’s bad side.  Everyone steps cautiously around her.  Why?  Because she’s a psycho.  Because you never know which grandmother will appear.  The nice, calm, sweet granny or the senile, overly protective, greedy one.  And Gollum, definitely has a dark, twisty side.

Clearly, Gollum has a special relationship with Frodo.  He calls the Hobbit “precious”.  He is after all (possibly) a very old Hobbit.  Older even than Bilbo.  Who’s to say he isn’t related to Frodo.  (Well, Smeagol doesn’t end in an O, so he’s clearly not a Baggins.)

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Gollum Is Frodo’s Grandmother (Could Be)

  1. I do like the way your mind works…

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