Gummy Bears: Critically Endangered in the Wild

When was the last time you saw a gummy bear in the wild?  It probably looked bedraggled, dirty, and worn.  Like it had been kicked through the mud, left out in the sun without water, or flattened by depression.

Most gummy bears are like domestic dogs.  They’ve been raised by humans for so long, they don’t do well on their own.  Stray dogs don’t turn into wolves.  They still require humans to keep them alive.  They linger near garbage, beg for handouts, and only hunt near restaurants (like Lady & The Tramp).

Gummy bears have no natural defense mechanisms (except being cute [like Puss-in-Boots]).  Being delicious doesn’t count.  Sure, their different colors make them slightly more intimidating than your average gummy kodiak; but doesn’t perform well as camouflage.  And the different varieties are like hair color on humans (some indicate lack of a soul?), not species differentiation.

Darwin would be appalled at how the gummy bear has adapted to life in the wild…or rather unadapted.  Because when we’re depending on human kindness to survive…well, you know the rest.

Next time you see a gummy bear lying forlorn on the streets, its tiny arms outstretched, begging for a hug, do it a favor pick it up (don’t eat it, that’s gross [at least wash it first {or blow on it}]) and give it a loving home.

Gummy bears are people, too.


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Gummy Bears: Critically Endangered in the Wild

  1. Where have all the Gummy Zoos gone?

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