Awkward Moments (Part 1 & Part 2)

Is there a more perfect word to describe awkward moments than awkward?  I mean, even its spelling is awkward.  I probably have an awkward moment once a day.  Usually more.  Don’t we all?  Maybe it’s just me.  Perhaps I so how attract them.  Or cause them.  Or just feel more awkward than most.

That awkward moment…

  1.  …before the host country wins an Olympic medal.
  2.  …when you blame your suit for slowing you down, but when you switch track suits, you still don’t medal.
  3. …when you help win your country a gold medal, get injured, and some call you an invalid.
  4. …when you pass your Olympic crush in the village and Tinder tells you they’re interested too.
  5. …when you finally get a girl’s number, consider it wasn’t so difficult, and realize it’s your boss’s number (yet still add it to your points tally).
  6. …when you print out your novel manuscript, spend all day punching holes in it, bind it with one and a half inch brass fasteners, then hide it under your bed so no one reads it.  Not even you.
  7. …when you stand under the hot water, lazily enjoying a shower and you realize you have to get out soon (usually when the highest temp starts to turn cold).
  8. …when you need something from work but don’t have anyone’s numbers, or even know who’s working, or the super secret phone number, so you have to drive there.
  9. …when you realize you hardly have any of your coworkers digits and you’re surprisingly okay with it [just kidding guys, you’re great, thanks for reading].
  10. …when you discover your boss reads your blog and  you can’t say anything bad about them anymore (also applies coworkers, friends, girlfriends, exes, sibling’s friends/girlfriends, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents [not that I would, of course]; siblings are strangely exempt [as is anyone, if you don’t care what they think {so, I’m good}]).
  11. …when you actually have to do work at work.
  12. …when you hand a customer their check and realize, “Oh, I probably need that”.
  13. …when you ask a customer if they have a Rewards card as they hand it to you [or after you’ve already scanned it] (also applies to store credit cards).
  14. …while standing at the fountain drink machine and watching someone struggle to get ice and you wonder if you should help them.
  15. …where you try to decide if your novel is better for middle grade, young adult or new adult, yet you haven’t even finished written started it yet.
  16. …when your celebrity crushes reveals he or she likes the wrong gender [read: not yours] thus ruining your dream of white picket fences, 2.5 kids (pets count as half, right?), and first class travel, plus a private island.
  17. …during a conversation when you confuse Charlie White and Shaun White.
  18. …during a conversation when you use the private nickname you have for your favorite athlete out loud, i.e. Macaroni for McKayla Maroney or Wagley for Ashley Wagner.
  19. …you make a meme face on accident (umm, who doesn’t want to go viral these days?).
  20. …when you watch the Olympics (or other sporting events) and realize many of the athletes are younger than you and you start to wonder what you’ve accomplished in your life (you haven’t even completed every video game you own or gotten a high score in any multiplayer level…well, not consistently), so you start a blog.

About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Olympics and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Awkward Moments (Part 1 & Part 2)

  1. Pingback: Awkward Moments (part 1 & Part 2) | TinderNews

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