Tonight opens the Winter Olympics. The Opening Ceremony. The moment when Russia gets to showcase itself and the Games.
Sure, yesterday was the unofficial start. If you missed it, we saw the preliminary runs of moguls and two new events, slopestyle snowboarding and team ice [figure?] skating.
But tonight we get to see the spectacle behind the games. The magic that unites us in one common purpose: cheering on our countrymen to victory. Countless athletes from diverse nations come together to compete for a common goal: the gold medal.
The the highlight of the opening ceremony is the athletes’ procession. But before we get there, we get to witness how Russia will dazzle the world.
Will they showcase Stalin? The tzars? Rasputin? Bond villains?
So root for your favorite athlete, watch your favorite sport (whether for the thrill of victory or the chill of crashes), and remember global unity only happens once every two years around a television screen.
Personally, my favorite part is watching home state athletes.
Hilarity is 