They’ll Still Watch Over You

Currently, everyone is concerned that the government is listening in on our phone calls and emails.  Like they have nothing better to do (I’ve watched CSpan, they don’t).  I mean, aren’t they supposed to do actual work?  Or have the American people become the thing the government fears the most (is that how the Founding Fathers set it up?)?

But seriously, if you don’t want the government tracking you, do what I do: don’t friend them on Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Instagram, etc.  Then, they won’t be able to access your check-ins and see when you’re at work or when you’re at your friend’s house when you should be at work [or called in sick]–also why I’m not friends with my boss–or read your status updates about “The Man” and “The Institution” or how the government is lazy…or you know how to build a bomb potato gun (it’s on the internet, but that doesn’t make it safe).

I mean, if I didn’t want the government tracking me, I wouldn’t own an XBox Kinect, use credit cards, or live in the city.  But, since I do, I just assume we’re living in 1984 and avoid all mention of terrorist activities.  And, I feel perfectly safe, since I don’t accept any friend requests from my congressmen (what if your friend is a spy? [dammit.]).  I mean, sure the President can still drone strike anyone he wants for any reason and we don’t have a space program so I can’t escape (pretty sure that’s why Snowden wants to get into Russia); but, at least I can know what my friends are doing 24/7 via Facebook and that’s enough for me.  Why else would I spend hours logged in?

I feel safer surrounded by all my technology knowing the government is watching me sleep, like my own creepy personal guardian angel.  Isn’t that what the government’s for? To make us feel safer? 


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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