Poor Elmo

If you think your life is bad, try being Elmo for a day.

I’m pretty sure he spends every moment not at work stuck in a small box.  At least when you’re at home (house, apartment, condominium, whatever), you have a TV, a computer, and lights.  Elmo doesn’t have those basic amenities.  He can’t even watch baseball, America’ pass-time.  So how does he pass the time?  Maybe he just sleeps a lot (do monsters need a lot of sleep? I suppose, if they stay up all night scaring children; but Elmo isn’t that kind of monster).

And when he’s at work, he spends all day with children.  Which, might not be so bad, they do say the darnedest things.  However, child actors have notoriously rigorous schedules.  For example, they can only work so many hours in a day (less than 8).  And where does that leave Elmo?  In his box.

Plus, when he’s at work, he’s subjected to the world’s longest proctology exam.  He’s got a dude’s arm, elbow deep…well, let’s just say, that’s bound to be unpleasant.  It’s no wonder his voice is so high-pitched.

But, besides a few minor discomforts, I bet Elmo has it pretty good.  He’s got a whole line of DVDs, so he’s probably got disposable income.  He’s got a girlfriend (which is more than some, less than others) who seems to like him for who he is…especially since they’re both monsters.  He clearly has friends or at least people who care enough to pretend they’re his friends.  And, really, that’s all that you can ask from life.

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
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