Here’s Your Sign

Just ignore those signs.  It’s okay.  They’re not meant for you, anyway.  They’re meant for everyone else.

Sure, the signs may say: “No food”, “No pets”, “No drinks”, “No smoking”.  But who are these signs to dictate what you can and cannot do?  These signs are not the boss of you (or me).  You do what you want.

It’s not like there’s a garbage can right outside the store or anything.  That would be too convenient (and you’d have to take your eyes off your phone).

So, sure, go ahead and bring your food into the store.  No one cares if you leave the wrappers wherever.  This is just like the movie theater and the stadium (except there people drop their trash on the floor, not randomly on shelves).  Go ahead and pick up three products while texting.  Juggle your coffee like a champ.

And when you spill it, be sure not to tell anyone.  Like a boss.

Oh and that dog you brought it [not the one with the “on-duty” jacket helping the special needs kid, the one sitting in the shopping cart seat], don’t expect me to pet it or clean up after it.  But, go ahead and expect me to hand you a mop and bucket (if only we could do that to parents with kids…[you’d be surprised at some of the horror stories; then again…]).

Sure, mopping the floor does get me away from my register [thanks for that, I guess?], but there are better ways I can avoid customer service (like strategic walking).  I don’t need your help.  But, feel free to ignore the wet floor signs and walk through the coffee spill and yell at me because I wasn’t paying attention to where you were walking.  Maybe next time, I’ll just run my mop over your fancy shoes while listening to whatever’s currently playing on my non-Ipod (Does that count as premeditated? [Oops]).

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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