The USSA Sponsored by Apple

As you might know [I only know because I watch Jon Stewart], Apple [the company] hasn’t paid their corporate taxes for a few years [I bet you’re looking twice at you Ipod now (to make sure it’s playing the right song). Apparently being in the 1%, whether a business or a person (though, at one point the government was trying to pass legislation to treat business like people) has its benefits.

And, when Apple  was brought before the government, the Congressmen didn’t ask Apple to pay their taxes, didn’t ask why Apple didn’t pay taxes; instead, they asked “What can we change about our corporate tax laws to get you to want to pay taxes?”

Look, no one wants to pay taxes.  Even when we get it all refunded (it’s never all refunded…just federal).  But asking a person who doesn’t pay taxes what to change so they will pay taxes is backwards.  Soon we’ll be asking Exxon Mobile for input on oil regulations (um, lobbyists??).

When Wesley Snipes was caught evading his taxes, he had to leave the country and his acting career (such as it was) ended.  When Al Capone was caught evading taxes, he was thrown in jail.  But not Apple.  Clearly, the government doesn’t want to treat corporations like people, except when it’s beneficial to the corporations.

When we start asking corporations how to run the government, the government becomes so over capitalistic it becomes socialist […or is it communist? (go with socialist, U.S.S.A. is a better acronym than U.C.S.A.)].  And nobody wants that…well, nobody in America (…besides Obama).  I mean, look how well socialism worked for Russia [does anyone in America remember the USSR, anymore?(no offense, Russia)].

So, go ahead and boycott Apple.  They’re overpriced anyway.  You can find better alternatives and products that work [I’m looking at you, Apple Maps].  Or you can support tax evasion.  Your choice.

Choose wisely.

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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