What If? Superman Edition

I’ve been thinking recently (it’s a new habit): what if Superman really were as apathetic as the Five For Fighting song “Superman” makes him seem [at least the first line]?

I mean, would he just sit back and watch the world get attacked by the likes of Darkseid?  Or would they leave Earth alone because Superman wasn’t present?  Is he the catalyst of their attacks?  Would Joker exist without Batman?

Are superheroes the root cause of supervillains?

If so, they we shouldn’t want superheroes (but life’s boring…it might make things more interesting).  Or aspire to their high ideals.  Or wear tights.  Or our underwear on the outside (well, you shouldn’t do that anyway).

And, if Superman remain an anonymous farmer, would he help save Earth if Darkseid attacked?

Now, some of you may be thinking, “What’s with all the “attacked Earth” talk?  This is Earth Day after all.”  To which I’d respond, “If I’m born on Earth Day, does that mean I get to be more careless regarding the Earth or do I have to be more responsible than the average person?”  (If you’re born on Earth Day, why are you writing this and not out clubbing? [baby seals?] Dude! [too soon?] Always.)

The real question is, where can I find a radioactive creature to bite me?  Anyone know of any secret government test  facilities?  Then we can answer this burning question once and for all.

…Or maybe not.  I mean, I’d need a second person, right?  One to be the superhero and one to be the supervillain.


I suppose I could use my twin, but I doubt we’d both want to be supervillains heroes.

Is there a fair way to test which is first?


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
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