Best Worst Pick-up Lines

We all know how hard it is to approach (and talk to) women.  Especially when they travel in a pack–a group, a herd, a horde, a cluster, a flock, a troop, a clowder, a gang, a pod, a brood, a murder (probably best, since it murders your chance to pick one up)–because there’s safety in numbers.

However, over the years, we men have refined our technique.  We don’t walk up to a woman unprepared and say, “Hi”.  We have a strategy.  A game plan.

If you’re ever stuck, try one of these:

You’re a small package. I’m a good thing.

Is that glitter or are you my vampire?

Want to see my Brontosaurus? (erroneous, since Brontosaurus is a redundant name for Apatosaurus…everyone knows that)

I’m glue and you’re glue, let’s stick together.

[Walk past and trip.] Dang, girl, you’re making me stumble.

Or, if you’re really daring, try this scenario:

Hey, how’s it going?  I’m trying to decided between two lines.  Mind if I practice them with you?
[wait for response]
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.
Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
Which would work on you?
[wait for response]
Which would work on her?

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
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