Okay, now that Valentine’s Day is over, the stigma surrounding singles has lifted and March celebrates the coming of spring, a time of renewal. A time to search for your love…dang, single people just can’t catch a break (winter? [you need someone to cuddle by the fire] fall? [someone to appreciate the beauty of the colorful leaves] summer…wait, never mind).
So, as the birds return from their winter homes and begin to search for their mates, we join them. We seek “The One”. Is it realistic to seek one person in whom to place all your love? Do Mormons have it right (I doubt I could handle one wife, let alone 5)? When did women leave the kitchen, start wearing shoes, and stop being pregnant?
Let’s look at a classic example of searching for The One. In The Matrix, Morpheus has a list of signs to identify Neo as “The One”. Neo would have a hero shield, Neo could see the code, Neo would interact with the code, Neo would love Trinity.
But in our search we don’t have such a list. Our list is usually: a banging body, a great smile, and a good personality. Or, confident, funny, and smart. Way to narrow it down. It’s hard to determine what makes a person our match; but we know it when we see it (or at least hope we do). That’s what dates are for, testing the waters in a search for a soul mate.
If I want to find the one person I will spend the rest of my life with, why do I search with a wide net (to catch more fish?)? Should I narrow my search? Should I discern what I really want, then look for it?
That’s too much work.
I mean, how could I narrow my search? What would that list even look like?
A coach/mentor (a teacher?)
Strives toward her goals
Helps others reach their goals
Pushes others to pursue their goals
Willing to live a healthy lifestyle
Will encourage me toward my goals
Willing to go to church with me
Likes to snuggle (like the detergent?)
Knows when to laugh and when to be serious [because I need someone to help regulate and guide me]
Will exercise with me and motivate me [so I will actually start working out]
Will inspire me
But this list
is mine is just a guideline. I mean, I didn’t even add [so as not to appear too shallow] that she should be blonde or have green eyes [though, that couldn’t hurt] or that she should be an actress/singer [clearly a desirable trait] or an Olympian [though that clearly fits the mold (if she was, did she medal–does only gold count?–what’s her overall medal count?)]. Should I have included rich (that goes along with celebrity) or hates drama (like, doesn’t own a TV?)? What about nerdiness level?
All I’m saying is, if we’re looking for a true partner, an equal partner, perhaps we should have some idea of what we’re looking for before we start looking (nah). If we better define what we want, we may better define who we are…or who we want to become.
Perhaps, it is better to just go with the extra-strength Tylenol method: just throw a handful, whatever sticks is the proper dosage [thanks Dr. Cox and Scrubs]. At least that’s a clear guideline, too. And, way easier.
If I’m going fishing, I’m not going to try and catch just one, specific fish (this isn’t a movie [I’m not Ahab]). Cast my net wide, eat many fish until I find the one I like best. Then, just eat one fish the rest of my life (is that like give a man a fish, teach a man to fish…?).
But maybe, it would be better, in the long run, to seek that one, perfectly defined fish, even if the ocean is wide…
I don’t know, I’m no relationship expert (clearly). I should ask Dr. Phil …or Oprah. Maybe one of them has a single lady in mind.