I just got my invitation to a friend’s wedding and it is addressed, “and Guest”. Color me excited. I mean, it’s not often I get the chance to go to a wedding, let alone bring a friend. Now, I just need to trim the (short) list and decide who to take.
1. Mila Kunis: Well, I’m not in the armed forces and this isn’t the Marine Ball; but…there may be an outside chance.
2. Nastia Liukin: I may not be an Olympic medalist or Olympic-caliber athlete (or even an athlete), but rumor is that she might not have dated the gold medal winning figure skater…so, I might have that going for me.
Plus, it’s an Olympic year, so she may want to get the most out of her celebrity status (though she may have classes at NYU). There is a downside, however; the only Russian I know is “Goodbye” (Thank you, James Bond). Unfortunately, I can’t spell it in Cyrillic.
3. Justin Bieber: Hey, it might be a good way to ask Selena Gomez. Isn’t he all the rage on the Twitterverse…
4. Chris Helmsworth: But only to give me pointers on how to grow a sweet beard and sculpt my body into that of an Asgardian god…but, the god of thunder, not the god of mischief.
I think that’s a fairly good pool to consider. I mean, I don’t want to spread the net out too widely, what happens when I get multiple acceptances? I mean, Chicago is a hoppin’ city. It’s for a good cause (to keep a desperate nerd off the loser’s wall?) and wedding’s are always fun.
Feel free to let me know who you think I should ask (write-ins welcome).