Bikini Season is also Sandals Season

Sometimes I forget that when it gets hotter, it’s time to wear sandals (maybe because I always wear sandals in the shower).  But, that’s not really an excuse for bad toenails.

Sheesh, it only takes a few seconds to clip away your long nails and make your feet more presentable and, um, don’t your shoes fit better?

But, I must admit, I often forget to follow this policy myself.  Therefore, I’m left staring at my feet in embarrassment at a compliment on my beard (it’s going to be Gimli length soon) only to be embarrassed at the state of my long toe nails.

Not that I stare at other people’s feet (I’m not some weirdo [but if you have a foot fetish, that’s cool, I don’t judge (I do)]).  It’s all about self-confidence.  No one wants to walk around with crazy long toe nails…or do they?

I mean, with the recent surge in zombies, long toe nails just might come in handy when fending off the undead at the beach.  Can’t reach your shotgun?  Forgot your ax at home?  No worries, just scratch them with your claws.  Fortunately, you have two sets, your hands and your feet.  You’re twice as lethal to those zombies hopped up on bath salts (seriously glad I only take showers).  Beware the wrinkly undead.  Put plan Z-poc into motion!

I’ll see you at the Wal-mart.  I’ll be the one raiding the shotgun shells and fending off others with my ax.

(Whoa, that took an unexpected turn.)

About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Fashion, Humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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