The Canadian Tuxedo: Not Just For Weddings

I’ve always wanted to see an infomercial for the Canadian tuxedo.  I imagine it would be more likely to be one of those late night “As Seen on TV” home shopping commercials.

I know what you’re thinking, a tuxedo that’s stylish and comfortable?  Impossible.  Not so.  The Canadian tuxedo is both (and inexpensive).

Yes, it will go well with your black Rockport shoes or your brown Doc Martin loafers (or your sneakers).  How is this possible?  It just depends on your belt choice, of course (what sort of belt matches sneakers?).

No matter the occasion, formal, semi-formal, business casual, you’ll look impeccable when wearing the Canadian tuxedo.

Not familiar with the concept of a Canadian tuxedo?  It’s fairly simple.  Jeans and a jean jacket (don’t ask me why it’s called a Canadian tuxedo; maybe that’s what everyone where’s in Canada?).  Maybe you add a button down denim shirt (do they make denim ties?).

Of course, the commercial ends and you wonder if it was real (or if you already own a Canadian tuxedo).  Then the plea to order hit you.

Hey, ladies!  Feeling left out?  Well, no longer.  For a limited time, when you order a Canadian tuxedo, we’ll throw in a Canadian wedding dress absolutely free!  Order now!

That’s right, it’s a two for one deal.  Why not have the perfect wedding ensemble (maybe you’ve been in this relationship too long to be single now?).  Who doesn’t want to be a matching couple (usually a guy’s tie matches his gal’s dress)?  Um, at least when you wear a denim skirt with a denim jacket, you look sexy, right?

Just don’t spill any maple syrup on your jeans, then you’ll be a Canadian hippie…because you’ll be sporting Canadian tie-dye (the joke’s not funny if you have to explain it, moron).


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
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