The Pinochle Exemption

So, I guess there are some perks to growing older.  I just found out my grandparents play pinochle on Fridays (actually, I didn’t just learn that) with some of their friends (see, you can still have friends when you’re old) and that during Lent they snack just the same as they usually do.

Being exempt from fasting on Fridays while playing pinochle is one of the perks, like forgetting the people you dislike, farting in public and everyone thinking it’s cute (I learned that from  Scrubs), and driving as slow as you want without others blaring their horns at you.

And people say getting old sucks.  Really?  I think it sounds great.  You’re retired, so you don’t have to work.  The government pays you because you don’t work.  You get your medical care taken care of by the government.  You can yell at the kids you walk on your lawn.  I don’t see a downside.

Sure, you might be going blind, but that just means you don’t need to see the people you dislike.  Yes, you might be losing your hair, but you don’t need it anyway; you’re probably already married.

The only thing that could ruin it is the next generation.  They could try to become like old people while still young.  I know plenty of people who’d rather collect unemployment checks and welfare checks that go to work; but that’s a privilege you need to earn with age (I know, work sucks; trust me, I know).  And they want free healthcare.  But if the government pays for everyone to not work and get their pills for free, what kind of state are we living in?  Florida.

Sure, it’s nice to visit.  They have Universal Orlando Studios with the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and Walt Disney World; but no one actually wants to live there(like Canada).

So, as you suffer through the remaining days of Lent, just remember there’s always something to look forward to.  And now, getting older is nearer the top of the list (but owning an Aston Martin still tops it…that or meeting an extraterrestrial).

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Satire and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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