As we all know, on St. Patrick’s Day, everyone is Irish. But why do the Irish get a day to themselves? Why isn’t there a day for everyone to be Polish or German or Russian?
Would making everyone Polish on St. Joseph’s Day help equal things out? Though, I suppose, everyone is slightly Polish on Fat Tuesday. …What with the paczki and all. And there is Octoberfest, which is sort of like St. Patty’s Day, but German.
I just wonder why St. Pat’s Day is such a large holiday, especially when compared to other saints’ days, the only one that might come close is St. Nicholas’ Day (or, you know, St. Valentine’s Day). I mean, it’s not like we needed another excuse to party (though the green beer helps) or get together with family (though cooking seven pounds of corned beef all day helps).
Perhaps March felt left out and wanted a holiday of its own. After all, every month has at least one. January: New Year’s Day
February: Valentine’s Day
March: St. Patrick’s Day
April: Earth Day
May: Mother’s Day, Memorial Day
June: Father’s Day
July: The Fourth
September: Labor Day
Huh, the ancients must not have liked August (too hot?) or perhaps Emperor Augustus did not like parties very much (too disorderly?).