Lent: Time to Reassert Your New Year’s Resolutions

Well, today begins Lent for the Christian world.  Time to get lean and mean.  No seriously, low blood sugar makes us cranky.  Lent is the time of year when we attempt to give up vices bad habits junk food and soda pop in an effort to show others how religious we are better understand Christ’s sacrifice for us (see, I paid attention in Sunday school).

And it’s super difficult.  I mean, yesterday was America’s favorite holiday.  We get together, eat as much as possible until our snack cupboards are empty and the remnants of a dozen pączki are strew about our lips.  Pączki comma, it’s probably top five in best ways to go.

Yet, the next day, we’re supposed to just eat less?  Makes sense, I’m still pretty full.  There’s nothing to eat in the house anyway and I’m too lazy, since I’m still digesting (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it), to go to the grocery store.

The most difficult part, however, is that I’m not really a big fan of fish.  And I can only eat so much tuna fish, even when you add celery for crunchy-factor.  Sure, I could eat pasta, but without meat sauce, its just so bland.  Besides, I only like meat ravioli, like every else on the planet, duh.

Good thing it’s only six weeks long and not a whole month like Ramadan.  I don’t think I could fast for a whole month.  But dang it, six weeks is a long time.  That’s like 42 days, thank goodness we don’t count Sundays.  47 days would be way too long.  I’d never make it without mini-breaks every seven days to binge eat and then feel ashamed about on Monday.

April 8 cannot come soon enough.


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Lent: Time to Reassert Your New Year’s Resolutions

  1. haha This just made my day. I totally forgot about lent, so thanks for reminding me man. I always give up chocolate and pop, so you nailed it. Hopefully I drop a couple of pounds.

  2. Reblogged this on whoislaylaclark and commented:
    I could not have expressed my feelings any better!!

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