Whatever Happened to The Duke?

I’ll keep this short, since I know we’ve all got big plans for today…well, some of us do.  The rest of us will be playing video games and watching hockey.

I’ve been on a bit of a John Wayne kick, recently.  And I’ve been thinking about how we could see a resurgence from his awesomeness.  (You may not think it’s the best topic for Valentine’s Day/Single’s Awareness Day/That holiday Hallmark created, but when isn’t a good time to discuss the Duke?) The only reason John Wayne didn’t have a beard is so that Chuck Norris can aspire to the level of greatness of the Duke.

5 b. I’d like to see more westerns and not just remakes of great John Wayne films, either.

5 a. And, more space westerns.  A good starting point would be to have John Wayne play Malcolm Reynolds.  “Did the primary buffer panel just fly off my goram ship?”  (Though, it might be a bit of a stretch for him, I’m confident John Wayne has the chops to pull it off.  Not that I don’t love Nathan Fillion.)

4. Letting the Duke give the commencement addresses at Duke.

3. Having the Duke star as the Duke in a remake of Boondock Saints.

2. Replacing Siri’s voice with John Wayne’s.  Except that he could only call you “pilgrim” or “little lady”.  Nothing else.  “The pod bay doors are closed, pilgrim.”

1. A remake of Star Wars (not that there’s anything wrong with the original trilogy.  Hear that, George Lucas?  Stop changing things.) with John Wayne playing Han Solo.  I can just hear him on Hoth in Empire Strikes Back as Han’s about to go after Luke, “Then I’ll see you in hell!”  Or when Han’s about to become frozen in carbonite, “I know, little lady.”

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
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