Wolverine: Filled with Angst or Just Angry?

I think I’ve finally figured out why Wolverine is so angry.  Stick with me on this, okay.

One, he’s short.  That can’t be easy to live with, especially when everyone rubs it in.  It’s no wonder his nemesis is someone who’s always calling him “runt”.  Sure, Sabertooth has a lot going for him in the bad department, but I think the constant jabs at Logan’s height really put him over the top in terms of arch-enemy.

Two, he’s hairy.  Not just hairy, but really hairy.  And its blue.  Sure, he can look at Beast and think, “It could be worse;” but when he compares himself to the smooth-skinned Cyclops, it’s no wonder Jean Grey chooses the leader of the X-Men.  Yes, Wolverine isn’t in danger of going bald, thanks mostly to his regenerative healing mutant ability, but without that, he’d be like every other hairy guy in the world: back hair but no scalp hair.  That’s enough to make anyone depressed.

Three, he never gets the girl.  Or, if he does, Sabertooth kills her.  That’d piss off anyone.  Even more so when compounded over multiple generations.  The poor guy just can’t catch a break.  Fortunately, his memory is so distorted, he’s probably forgotten most of the women who’ve turned him down or left him.

Of course, he could just be mad that he’s Canadian.  Wait…Canadians are nice.  Guess, there’s always an exception?  Maybe he was never good at hockey or lacrosse or curling and doesn’t like Tim Horton’s…no wonder he lives in New York.  Or, perhaps he’s a Maple Leafs fan; I know I’d be ready to lacerate someone after watching…er…I think I’ll let this one slide, just in case Wolverine is a Toronto fan.


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
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