Winter Driving + Toy Store = Bad Day

We’re all aware that during the winter, it snows.  What we might not be aware of is that the snow plows and salt trucks get their start (around me) between 5-6 AM.  Which is crazy early (though I’m sure they get started earlier sometimes).  However, when you’re leaving your house at 6:30 AM, it still feels like your tiny, environmentally-friendly, high mileage (front-wheel drive) car is skating.   But you get used to gripping the wheel with white knuckles, praying, and holding your breath.  It’s part of the experience and helps you wake up on your morning commute.

However, by the time you drive home (even after 4 hours) the roads are well cleared.  Which is awesome (tried to you btw, there, but I’m not cool enough).  Sure, the shoulders still have snow, maybe ice; but no one drives on them…unless there’s an accident.  Clearly that’s what you’re supposed to do.

I passed one moving van on its side, one jack-knifed semi-truck, one derelict car, and a fender bender where one car appeared to have rear-ended another.  All within two miles.  Of course, cops were on the scenes and driving down the shoulder.  But, for some reason jackasses morons other drivers decided it would be a good idea to do it, too.  Or, you know wait until they’ve past the exit to drive through the median and exit.  Seriously? Seriously!  Seriously. It happened.

I mean, I guess it’s okay since we’re moving slowly.  We can make up our own rules of the road.

Also, while at work, I saw Justin Bieber with his pants down (wow, good thing I can Google how to spell his name).  I guess, you could say I’ve seen more than any girl/woman ever will.  You might think I just witnessed every girls’ fantasy.  And you’d be correct, except for one obvious flaw that I forgot to mention…it was on his singing doll.  But, according to his doll, he were’s briefs.  Just so you know, ladies, for an accurate mental picture.  You’re welcome.

And to those sick individuals who did this, shame on you.  Clearly you have too much time on your hands or a deep-seated dislike for all things Bieber (and who doesn’t? But to deface his likeness in such a way?  I mean, he won’t ever even see it…since I forgot to take a picture).  This is definitely near the top of my List of Things I Never Want to See at a Toy Store.

Remember kids, pantsing someone is mean and you should never do it.  No matter the reason.  Even if he is dating your celebrity crush.

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About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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