They Can’t All Be Winners: Kings of Atlantis Edition

Okay, I admit, sometimes I post ideas that are funny only to me (as you might have noticed).  But, it’s just wishful thinking.  I mean, if they’re funny to me, they’re bound to be funny to someone else, right?

Today, however, I’m going to let my nerd flag fly.  Then quickly take it down before anyone notices (outside of WordPress).  Just because geek is the new chic doesn’t mean I don’t still get embarrassed about it sometimes.  And, I’m going to try something a little bit different (though I’m late jumping on this bandwagon, as well).  We’ll see how it goes.

On to the pressing issue at hand (that’s been debated worldwide for decades): Who truly is the king of Atlantis?  Is it Aquaman, Namor, or Spongebob?  Difficult to choose, I know.  Truly all inspire their own brand of nerd rage (or in the case of Spongebob, nerd obliviance, my spell checker is telling me that obliviance isn’t a word and wants to change it to obliviousness. *sigh*).

Aquaman is infamous.  He’s even been made fun of on TV (if Hollywood’s doing it, you know it’s been a trend for a while).  But why does DC’s Atlantian cause such vehement feelings?  Are we jealous of him for finding a good-looking wife?  Perhaps we are jealous of his beard?  Or afraid of his hook hand?  I think, however, that it’s because of his meddling.  If he would just stay under the water and out of the affairs of surface-dwellers, we’d have a lot more tolerance for him.

Namor, on the other hand, stays pretty much to himself.  Except when trying to seduce Sue Storm away from Mr. Fantastic.  And really, who doesn’t have that dream?  If Stretch can win over a girl like that, there’s hope for nerds everywhere…in comic books, TV, and movies (good luck in real life, fellas).  Sure, Namor has wings on his feet, but I certain those help him swim faster.  Besides, he’s a bit of a jerk, which we’d expect from a king of Atlantis.  After all, we haven’t done anything to help the ocean; in fact, we’ve probably polluted more than his city falling into it did.

And Spongebob, well, Spongebob inspires his own, special brand of hatred.  Perhaps because of his square pants or because he’s a smelly, used sponge; but he truly is one-of-a-kind (thankfully).  I know I make sure to throw my sponges away properly, just so they don’t float to the bottom of the ocean and take on a life of their own (damn you, pollution).

All three are deserving of the title king of Atlantis, but only one can reign supreme.  Only one inspires the most hatred and will truly be crowned king.

Who do you think it is?


About bkreuch

I like to read, I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.
This entry was posted in Humor, Nerdiness. Bookmark the permalink.

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